A Flowy Flowchart for Small Town Fashionista
you took down your work email because wieirdos were stalking you from your entirely public blog but people can still tell you work at bojangles because you left your work email in your profile. weird that out of all that grease and fried chicken was born the most perfect of loves, that burns white hot and is so awesome and timeless that only a shitty blog about anthropologie could capture and contain it’s essence.
Just in case you wanted the CLIFFS NOTES
My love is like a great wave in the ocean, crushing me beneath its weight. My dearest felt it too, when he photographed me and my pensive looks & realized how easy it would be to hook up with—I mean, share cliche emo songs with— I mean, build a life of rainbows and lullabies with a younger, narcissistic attention-whore. Ever since we decided not to fight our forbidden love, my photoshoots have showed me hugging 84899654 brick walls and chipped-paint surfaces and fields of grain and shit. Because that, dear readers,is love.
"Oh and my ex-husband is totally not bothered & we have lulz about how I left him & the kids, who are totes fine btw bc we have JOINT CUSTODY. You all just wish you could be as open-minded as me. I do unique, free-spirited things no one else does, like hooking up with a co-worker and spending all my money at a giant corporation. I have the SOUL of a POET
Here’s a summary of the last post on Small Town Fashionista’s blog about her muy caliente romance with some dude named Jerry who is old and has grey balls. She shuttered her blog last night after threatening comments were posted like MUA REPRESENT and other nonsense that while unintelligible, made more sense that her romantic ramblings.
A member of Fashionism provided this summary.
Jerry: we can’t talk any more
STF: no. we can’t. goodbye forever.
STF: hi jerry sup dog
Jerry: HI BABY!
STF: this is wrong. goodbye forever, jerry my love.
Jerry: yes. wrong. i am sorry. goodbye.
STF: oh jerry i was looking at a picture you took of me and i realized it was a sign we should be together because like one my fingers was kind of bent like a J?
Jerry: I KNOW!!!! my wife asked me if i was in love with you and i said, uh, idk, but my arms are tingling, so yeah, maybe so?!!!!!
STF: my arms are tingling too!!!!! arm tingle amour my sweet!!!!
(insert your choice of dumb song lyrics here)
(insert your choice of threatening comments here)
a cocktail recipe from one of the girls at fashionism. please enjoy whimsically.
the (yo money be under) Shochi’s Mattress
fill shot glass with midori or, if it’s st. patrick’s day, green beer. top with elegant reddi-wip rosette and serve immediately.
Hi there! Thanks for stopping by. Here are the collective thoughts of the women (and men!) who participate in the forum Fashionism.org. While I don’t speak for every member individually, I hope that these comments capture the group sentiment about her criminal behavior.
- We knew this would happen. When she announced her personal shopping service, many members were aghast that (1) anyone would pay such a service when our forum provides it free of charge and (2) that anyone would give her any money whatsoever and expect her not to blow it on her own personal purchases. We have known her for many years and she scammed members of the forum, which caused her to be banned. She has never not had money problems and while issues with money are not necessarily a harbinger of criminal behavior, certain actions and interactions of hers with members of the forum cast aspersions on her ability to spend others’ money wisely.
- We tried to warn you. Yes you, the anthro reader at home. We posted comments on her blog and others but they were deleted and ignored. Other than taking out an ad in the newspaper, there wasn’t much more we could do and no one really reads newspapers anymore anyways. No one wanted to listen. Even Kim called us haters and jealous girls. But what is hatin’ about telling the truth? And why would anyone be jealous of a common thief?
- We brought her stalker to justice. Even after she left our forum, we helped her out. A former acquaintance of hers began to email me and others with damming information about Kim that he wanted us to use to bring her down or some other nonsense. In reality, we gave absolutely zero shits about this information but wanted to help her. One member traced this guy’s IP and discovered his identity while on her honeymoon. We really went above and beyond and provided Kim with all the necessary information to take action against him. We had no interest in seeing our former member harassed by a weirdo loser. However, this was is 2010 and she claims the internet postings from 2007 are his. This is completely untrue and laughable. She has tried to lie and tell half truths to get herself out of every situation possible.
We are sorry that many people lost money. We have had a system in place to do “custom purchases” for years, without charge, and the only person who abused this system was Kim. Her scam was absolutely criminal and you should report her to the authorities if you have lost money.
EDIT: Hey I am all for actual proof. So here’s a screenshot of a comment one of our members left in 2010. We tried to get the word out. No one cared!
EDIT 2: Welcome all our new members who have joined and are searching for “anthroholic”. Most of our activity takes place in our members only forum and access is only granted by meeting a posting requirement and a vote of the members. This keeps us able to provide a friendly, tight knit online community. Also, that’s why none of our members get scammed doing “custom purchases” for each other.